Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
