there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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