They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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