are you so shy because you have an std?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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