Everything about him screamed your future.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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