It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
