dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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