feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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