Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
