Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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