I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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