I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
