It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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