Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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