Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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