I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
