my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Jerry, you need to find god
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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