i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.