After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize