Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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(516): View more from New York

do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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(512): View more from Texas

I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I was told my cock was a religious experience.

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(212): View more from New York

He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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(858): View more from California

- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.

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