i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.