The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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