p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
