Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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