he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
too bad you live with your parents still
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
