i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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