you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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