God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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