I will die if light touches me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Boobs are out for the taking
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My life is pants optional.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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