You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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