I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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