I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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