that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
