I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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