I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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