Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
