so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Liz is crying about burritos again.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
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