her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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