There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
