I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is my gift to your gina
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
