You're completely useless in the revolution.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
