I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
