Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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