Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
