oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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