dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize