I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
