I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize