he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
