Little spoons don't ask big questions
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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