big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
soo... how was my night?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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