Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize