It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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