im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
