We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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