I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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