69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
