I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
