i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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