he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
