hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
