i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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