Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
