At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize