Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
