Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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