i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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