I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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