you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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